'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shop
Not a creature was stirring, all the work just had stopped
The tools were all hung on the peg board with care
In hopes that Santa soon would be there
The cars were all parked safely covered in the garage
My Roadster, My Pickup, and even my Hemi Dodge
My wife in her robe and I in my Batman P.J.'s
Had just settled down after shopping for days
When out on the driveway there arose such a clatter!
It sounded to me just like pressure plate chatter
On to the driveway I flew like the Flash
I tripped over the dog and landed in the trash
When there in the driveway beneath the Moon and the Stars
Sat a Model A with chrome ladder bars
As I walked up closer to get a better view
I noticed a Blown Flathead and cheater slicks too
There behind the wheel sat a driver so tuff
With Tattoos, an earring, and beard oh so ruff
Dressed in Black leather he looked like a Bruiser
I knew right away he must be the Flathead Cruiser"
"I pulled second, I pulled third, then I heard a big Bang,
Things started to smoke, things started to clang!"
"I spotted your big garage with hopes of repair"
His back seat was full of presents but I tried not to stare
"If you can fix my Ford and make it shift right
I will give you these gifts for ruining your night"
We opened the door and pushed the Ford in
Before I got underneath, he gave me a wink and a grin
The headers were hot, the slicks they were sticky
That blow-proof bell housing would make the job tricky.
I turned on my droplight and gave it a look
The big 3 inch exhaust was making me cook
When there to my surprise what did I see?
The four tranny bolts had wiggled themselves free
I grabbed my trusty torque wrench and started to turn
As I tightened the last one I could smell my sleeves burn
He slid behind the wheel and fired up that mill
As I directed him out listening to it idle, it gave me a chill
A Big Blown Flattie with two 94's up top
Chrome reverse rims and a 2 inch suspension drop
He eased it out to the street and set the line lock
I knew this would not be quiet, probably wake the whole block
He revved it to 6 grand and let the clutch pop
As the rubber and smoke poured from the tires I spotted a cop!
He released the line lock and let that Ford loose
This baby was ALL MOTOR with no signs of Juice!
He fishtailed sideways, grabbed Third with plenty of guts
With Police in chase he screamed out
"MAKE SURE YOU USE LOCKTITE SO YOU DON'T LOOSE YOUR NUTS!"